The pattern of my current thinking:
I'm glad to be in Uganda, but I'm loving the idea of spending six weeks with family and friends in Thailand. Food that I look forward to eating, kids with a vocabulary greater than "Hey Mzungu!", games, comfortable chairs/couches, and loads of friends I've known for years, yeah... I'm looking forward to this trip. Nine days and counting!
I don't want to shut down. Just because I'm a short-timer doesn't mean there isn't stuff to do and ways to not waste the next week or so. I mean, I am going to be back in a couple months and all.
When I think about what I wanted to accomplish or how bleak the situation is sometimes, its easy to get depressed and stop caring. At the same time, when I remember the moments when everything came together, it's all worth it. Most of the effort I've put into things seem to be wasted, unappreciated, and generally without fruit (at least for others), yet those few smiles that came from those conversations that connected, the women who said "I'm not afraid of God anymore.", the people who were genuinely helped, those moments were totally worth it. Totally worth all the hours spent waiting for nothing, the unattended classes, the broken communication, and the wonky expectations. Figuring out what God wants to do is way more useful than putting hopes and expectations on what I think I want to do.
I'm definitely looking forward to Thailand, I hope I pay attention to God.